The following test is something I hope will help determine whether someone is worthy of your attention or not. You'll be able to better determine whether this person has what it takes to be your one, and in some cases, whether this person is playing games or not. It all depends on how well you are at administering the test and grading the results.

This test has no right or wrong answers. It is simply a means to probe someone's mind without having to be put in that uncomfortable position to ask upfront. Then again, if you feel you are too good to play, go ahead and ask someone, "Are you playing me?" If you have to ask, then I'll go ahead and answer that quetion and spare you the trouble. You're getting played.

TAKING OWNERSHIP
The purpose of this little test is to get a feel for how someone views a bad situation and whether he/she has your back or not in a bad situation. To benefit most from this test, there are a few preliminary steps to be taken.

To set up the right environment to present test number one begins like this:

The point is to get the person to understand this is not something that happens everyday; it is something you feel that they may have the power to help; it is something you feel you cannot tell anyone but this person; it is something that has taken a hold of your ability to feel secure about what's about to happen.

Next, present the actual situation. Some examples include:

I recommend something that this person could have nothing to do with, such as, "I think I'm about to lose my job."

Now we have to add some weight to it:

Try not to sound like a loser, but add some weight to the situation. The goal is to prevent dumb replies like, "I'm sure it'll all work out in time." If the person doesn't even let you completely set up the scenario, interupting with something like, "You're probably just being paranoid, so don't sweat it. Whatcha doing tonight?" then you can either continue to give this person the benefit of the doubt and stress the severity, or you can accept the fact that this person is not interested in helping bear the weight of your issues.

PREPARING FOR THE RESULTS
Before presenting this test, you have do some objective thinking.

Ask yourself, before you ask this person: if someone really was feeling you, how would that person reply?

But also think about how someone who only sees you as a friend would reply. And how would someone who didn't care reply. Or someone who has no sympathy. The goal is to understand the meaning behind the words before hearing them. It's so easy to hear them and then add meaning to them determined by how you feel about that person as opposed to seeing how this person really feels about you and your issues.

Does this person take ownership and involve him/herself into the situation or stand aside and offer support? Does this person allow you to talk about it or just want to get to solutions? If you can't talk about it, you will never be able to express yourself. If you have an opportunity to express how sad you are or how hurt you are, then you will more than likely get that same respect when something really does comes up in the future. Do you get the point?

It boils down to understanding the meaning behind the words that come out of his/her mouth before you hear them sugared up with your subjective feelings about the person.

Let's say the person replies, "Damn, that's f*cked up. You can always get a job at a restaurant until you find a better job." Look past the words here. It's not suggestion of being a waitress. It's the fact that this person appears to take no ownership and shows no empathy. Actually, this person may believe he/she is being supportive, but not supportive in the sense that it requires sacrifice on his/her part emotionally, physically or mentally.

This exercise also gives a glimpse of how someone would react in this situation if it were that person. What if he/she replies, "I guess you need some time to yourself?" or "I guess no more partying for you." When that person becomes distant sometime in the future, you have a clue that perhaps it's because he/she has an issue that he/she is dealing with.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THEY'RE THE ONE
Then again, what if the reply comes as, "Perhaps this is a blessing," or "It may just be time for you to move on."

Does this person inquire about why/how you got fired? Does this person defend you or ridicule you? Does this person feel management shouldn't have fired you after saying you were late four times? Then this person may have a problem with authority.

Get it?

Now, let's say this person responds, "Hey, let me know what I can do?" That's someone who just might have your back. This person may not necessarily be feeling you, but at least you have a better feel for what kind of person you are feeling. What if this person says, "Okay, we can get through this," or "We this…" or "We that…" That is someone who may be feeling you. This is someone who is one with you. That is someone who sees your problems as his/her problems and feels your pain and is more than supportive, he/she feels he/she needs to solve it to make him/herself feel better.

I dunno. Maybe you want someone who will let you handle your own problems. Whatever's clever.

The only point I'm making is, well, life is a game and unless you know how to play, you may be the one getting played.