Chad Ochocinco? Nope. His new teammate T.O.? Nope. Try the Iceland soccer team...




Then again, check out Danish superleague-club FC Nordsjælland...

It's pretty amazing how two blue lines can change your priorities. Instantly. Nearly seven months ago Nduku and I decided we wanted to have a child. In two months we'll be welcoming a baby girl into the world. We were planning a trip to Puerto Rico, but that's been replaced with a tour of Sibley Memorial Hospital in Washington, DC.

Many people have said life will never be the same. We say life has yet to begin. With a due date of September 16 [for the fellas, that's week 2 of the NFL season] we're looking at only a couple of months before the first day of the rest of our lives. We are retiring from 8-hours of sleep each night, spontaneous road trips to wherever the wind blows and living life on the edge with reckless abandon [well, Nduku already has; I'm getting there].

To celebrate this transition and welcome our daughter into the world, we're inviting everyone to our BaByQ Shower/Cookout on Saturday, August 14, in Washington, DC. Nduku and I have moved into our new home in the Mt. Vernon Square area near the Washington Convention Center where we are welcoming all to come celebrate with us. Though it's technically an untraditional baby shower, it's more accurately a traditional summer cookout.

Though we'll never have everything we need for parenthood, hence the baby registries, I hope everyone can still come by — even for a moment — to meet the soon-to-be-mother of our baby girl. As a friend of ours once said: your presence is more important than your presents.

Get all the information and RSVP by clicking here.

Don't ask where I heard this from, but there's a phrase that says, "A love inspects the distorted promise."

Going green is becoming what "Just Say No" was back in the day. It started out as something catchy, something people preached but didn't always practice and something that didn't really reward you for doing the right thing. Other than your brain not resembling an egg frying on the stove.

But now you can go green, save the planet and have a chance to win an iPod Touch, an iPad or even an Apple MacBook 250 GB! Bobby Cato as usual is ahead of the game and shared with me the Get Green Video Contest. All you have to do is submit a video of how you're recycling your two cents by May 2, and you're in there. Worst case is you get to show off your videography skills and inspire others to turn off the lights to empty rooms, shut down computers when leaving work and use both sides of toilet paper to save our planet.



And don't be discouraged just because you have to be an enrolled high school student between the ages of 14-19, make your video anyway, send it to me [better yet, post it on YouTube] and I'll share it here. Especially if you show how you use both sides of toilet paper!

In a recent Washington City Paper article about contraceptives, the topic was brought to light about our [we men] ignorance when it comes to birth control. Apparently we think the vaginal ring is equivalent to a magic wand and wearing two condoms is more effective than wearing just one. Well, isn't it?

Seriously, how does a vaginal ring work? As I was reading the article, I started asking myself how much I knew about birth control methods, other than the most effective and least used — abstinence. And really, I'm still not sure if condoms are made out of sheepskin or latex.

And who's Jimmy anyway?

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'How Much Do YOU Know About Birth Control?'

At the risk of exposing my age [whatever — I'm 35], I remember that in the 11th grade, connecting to the Internet wasn't as easy as ordering an overpriced latte, an overpriced piece of cake and peeling open a laptop. We literally used a telephone keypad, dialed a long string of numbers which literally connected you to the exact machine you were connecting to [even before the days of browsers!] and waited what felt like ages before finally, a message would slowly crawl up the page saying, "Welcome." And if you wanted to see something on another server, you had to call that server directly.

Everything was nothing but words and numbers. Animated .gifs? Streaming video? Personal homepage? There were no such things, nor blogs, tweets, RSS feeds; not even pictures, sound or even color. Color! And if anyone had a webcam, it was Al Gore while he was developing the Internet.

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'Now You Can "Call" Me and No Phone Number is Needed'

Congratulations to my homeboy Mike and his wife Jenny who exchanged vows this weekend! There were times when this day didn't seem possible, but when you have two strong and dedicated individuals like Mike and Jenny, all things are possible.



[This photo is during the reception. I would've had photos from the ceremony, but I was sitting in a challenging spot to take photos. I'll see if I can get some from everyone else.]

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'Congratulations to newlyweds Jenny and Michael Jackson!'

For those who don't know and to update those who do, the previous staffing agency where I worked and I have parted way. But in light of recent events, I will be back in the business shortly. I'm considering a couple of offers in the staffing industry, looking to sign some W2s in the next few weeks. So in preparation of my next life, I'm sending out this email to anyone who is any [if not all] of the following:



Once the ink dries on my new offer letter, I'll post my new contact information on a new blog created exclusively for job seekers called It's Jobvious! Postings will not only be job openings I'll be working on but also resume and interviewing advice, announcements of networking events and job fairs, and whatever else is relevant and may be helpful in assisting you in finding that ideal career.

Enter your email on the site to stay current on new postings. Encourage anyone looking for work to do the same. If you have any questions or suggestions just send me an email. I hope all is well with everyone and look forward to hearing from all of you, no matter how long it's been.

Happy Holidays!

These are photos from a trip out to The Res [as in the Navajo reservation] during my visit to see my dad in Flagstaff, Arizona. Every time I've visited and attempted to explain to anyone what it's like out on The Res, the words just never seem to do justice to the environment.

I can't even say the photos will do it justice, but it does help give you an idea of what it's like.

A few days later we took a trip south of Flagstaff to visit a couple of National Parks. Below are photos from our visit to Montezuma Castle and Tuzigoot National Parks...

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'Greetings from Navajo Nation and Photos at Montezuma Castle and Tuzigoot'

One of our clients is looking to hire two medical coders immediately! The position is at Walter Reed Hospital in Washington, DC. And another client is looking for a bilingual receptionist/administrative assistant in Springfield, VA.

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'Now Hiring: Medical Coder and Bilingual Receptionist'

We are currently looking for a couple of part-time positions, both accounting based and needing to be filled immediately. One is in Arlington, VA, performing accounts payable and receivable on Mondays and Thursdays. The position requires a couple years of working experience using Solomon, an accounting software. The position has flexible hours, ideally 7:00 am to 3:00 pm paying $15 an hour. The other is in Washington, DC, performing accounts receivable 20 to 24 hours a week for $16 an hour. Candidates have to have experience with Medicaid waiver billing.

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'Accounting Positions Hiring in DC'

And yet another one of my good friends, Abeo Anderson, is using her energy to make the world a better place. She sent me an email about some programs the non-profit where she works, Raising Expectations Inc., is having. One of the programs is "Green the Block" Mosaic & Music Citywide Youth Environmental Sculpture Art Project designed to clean up and design our neighborhoods. Youth [ages 12-18] will meet at neighborhood libraries to learn from environmental educators and professional mosaic/sculpture artists about various ways to help keep DC communities clean and green. Youth Ward representatives will take action by going out in their communities and collecting recyclable materials for the creation of 8 large mosaic/sculpture figures for public display in their Ward. More information can be found on their website.

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'Raising Expectations of Our Youth Through Cultural Arts and More'

Recently I received an email from a friend of mine, Jesse Moore, about a program seeking volunteers in the Washington, DC, area. Concerned Black Men's Capitol City Cares Mentoring Program [C3MP] is looking for mentors to work with young men and provide guidance and support.

Those who are interested in at least seeing what they're talking about can download an application and attend the orientation coming up in a few weeks.

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'Concerned Black Men Looking For Mentors in DC'

I want to send out a big THANK YOU to those who made donations to the National Kidney Foundation and sponsored me for the 5k walk last weekend. It was DC's largest turnout ever, starting with only 30 participants when it first started 8 years ago to over 800 participants this year. Those making donations were:



The walk went well, the weather was perfect and the people were amazingly enthusiastic and passionate for the cause. We heard stories of those affected by kidney diseases and many success stories which put our [and your] efforts into perspective.

Next year the plan is to assemble a team, as many of the other participants did, and see if we can increase our contribution and get more people involved. In participating I heard from some of my friends who also know people who are/were affected by kidney failure such as Amanee Blake, Mary Andom and Dana VanSlyke Sentell's husband, my former high school classmate Jeff Sentell.

Thanks again everyone who donated and those who sent emails and made phone calls to show your support!

Donations can still be made for those who want to donate.

Just as Washington DC's City Council is piecing together a Code of Ethics in light of Mayor for Life Marion Barry's most recent headliners [The City Paper has one of the most, well, memorable front pages of all time which is a MUST SEE], fellow councilmember Jim Graham finds himself indirectly associated with another scandal — this one with actual criminal charges. Allegedly his chief of staff took bribes to help push a bill that essentially is thought by some to limit competition with taxi companies and give financial breaks to those with hybrid vehicles. And coincidence or not, councilmember Jim Graham presented a bill that creates a medallion system [or something like that] which limits the number of taxis that can operate in DC as well as give financial breaks to those with hybrid vehicles [or something like that].

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'37 Criminal Charges? You're Hired!'

For those who know and those who don't, my mom had a kidney transplant several years ago after waiting for almost a decade and a half!!! Maybe longer!? I lost count when she didn't get a match after the first three to five years. Three times a week she spent four hours sitting next to a machine to get her blood cleaned. That's a part-time job! Talk about relying on your job to stay alive!

Well, the other day I saw a brochure about a fundraising walk, similar to the Susan B. Komen Breast Cancer Run/Walk, and, well, how am I not going to participate? I wear the green ribbon on my lapel from time to time which encourages people to become organ donors. My mom got her kidney from a 22-year-old who passed away way too early in life. He who was an organ donor. His other kidney went to another recipient. All his organs went to other recipients. Bless his heart.

Anyway, I know it's a recession, but I'm asking everyone if they, too, can help, by making a donation to the National Kidney Foundation. Everything counts. Especially the gesture. If all you have is $10, my appreciation will be just as great. Donations can be made by clicking on this link to help me reach my goal.

I'm also going to participate in the 5k Walk on October 3, 2009, here in Washington, DC. I'm just glad it's called a walk!

Thanks!

In the past week or so we've seen an uptick in some of the positions our clients are looking to fill. If you're already a candidate of mine, I haven't forgotten you; you'll see from the positions listed below why you may not have heard from me in a while. And if you fit any of the positions below, let me know and since you're already registered, I can get your resume in front of the client quicker.

If these opportunities don't quite tickle your fancy but you know someone who may fit any of the descriptions below, let them know and collect some karma points.

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'NOW HIRING: Available Job Opportunities Hiring Immediately'

Here we go again. Another one of those Facebook survey questionnaires asking random and useless questions and people reading them who have nothing better to do. Of course I normally ignore these, but then my homeboy Daz tags me on one which is quite interesting:



You're not supposed to use the same artist/band that the person who tagged you used, but Prince has so many songs that if a dozen people chose him, there would be plenty of songs to go around. Either-or, since I have nothing better to do right now, here goes...

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'My Life According to Prince'

Can't say it's a sign that the economy is starting to thaw, which I don't think it is fast enough, but we did get some new job orders from clients this past week, some even direct hire placement. Like any job opening, I have to submit the most qualified, no matter how much I love you all, but if you feel you are qualified to be considered for any of these positions, just let me know. Ummm, let me reiterate and clarify — let me know if you feel you are qualified for any of the following jobs, not just interested.

Even I have your resume I recommend you hit me up, get the 411 on any position you're qualified [there's that word again and it's not a coincidence] and send me a resume tailored for that position. I've written many of blogs about writing resumes so don't send me that one-pager talking about you know Photoshop when my client didn't say anything about Photoshop!

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'These Positions Are Hiring Now in DC'

Every time I turn around, there's Marita Gumbs working on something new, something different and something that she wants me to help put the word about. Some I skip [don't tell her but the spa thing just wasn't something I was feelin'] but her current event, well, I think she got it right. Not only is this the ideal time for networking, developing connections and seeing who knows what about where, when and why; but who doesn't need a strong drink during these times!?

"Rise Above — Recession Happy Hour" is for everyone who is looking for work, looking for workers, looking to network, share business ideas, has a business, is working on a business, is an entrepreneur, wants to meet entrepreneurs, is in network marketing [just stay away from me], wants to run for office and wants to get your name out, and wants to run out of the office screaming "I HATE MY JOB!"

Last night Marita was finalizing her five themed-drinks for those who are looking for that sophisticated drink you haven't had yet [I'm simple — Jack with a splash of Coke]. The event is on the top floor of Indulj at 1208 U Street NW across from Ben's Chili Bowl. From 5:00 pm to 9:00 pm on Friday, July 24 we'll be toasting to anything that comes to mind after a few drinks, so come join us, especially if it's been a minute since I've seen you.

While I continue to figure out what I'm going to do about a new laptop, I did finally get a new BlackBerry. The Pearl threw in the white towel after I not only dumped [excuse the pun] her in the commode, but then continued to accidentally drop her at least once a week until she no longer worked.

She was one tough phone, I'll say. Maybe I should invest in a protective case [a waterproof one at that]. You never know when you'll need your BlackBerry to save your life.


So my new PIN is 307F03B1. Then again, I did just find out that a new BlackBerry is coming out. I don't know if the BlackBerry Tour is any better than what's out now, but it's not a touch screen so maybe I'll see if I can fast talk Verizon into letting me swap out since I did just get the Curve.

So a woman missed Air France Flight 447 which ended up crashing into the ocean. She does make it home, eventually, and gets into a car accident and dies.

As soon as I heard about Air France Flight 447 going down, naturally I thought terrorism was involved. As the truth started to unfold, though, the explanations included equipment failure, flying too slow for the altitude and anything else that had nothing to do with terrorism. And slowly, as all stories that dominate the media and command the world's attention, France Flight 447 became a memory as the focus now is the shooting at the Holocaust Musem.

And when no one's paying attention, it gets reported that there were terrorist suspects on the plane after all.



The unofficial/official word is still anything other than terrorism, but how will anyone ever know? The word is there was no explosion, even though pilots in the area reported they did see a bright flash in the area. I'm still having a hard time believing a pilot with 20 years experience and 11,000 hours of flight time [1,700 hours with the same type of plane] wasn't going fast enough for his altitude.

Unfortunately, as our short attention spans prevent us from focusing on anything long enough to draw any realistic conclusions, we move on the Holocaust Museum shooting. Well, for now.

First he puts on fake gold teeth before he steps on to the field. Then he changes his last name to Ocho Cinco. Now he gets tattoos on his face! It's not quite Mike Tysonesque, but the state of Florida?



UPDATE: Just like his gold teeth on game day, Chad Ocho Cinco's tats are fake. I wonder if he really did change his last name?

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'Chad Ocho Cinco Gets His Face Tattooed'

You ever have one of those days that never seems to end, and everything around you is happening as it did the day before and the day before that, and it seems like you're caught up in a repetitive cycle and everything is always the same, and no matter what happens you already knew it was going to happen, and then, somehow something happens [like receiving yet another email joke from Moshi] that takes your mind off of the cycle for just a second, but that's all you need to make it through the day...

The other day someone asked why I quit blogging. Apparently she doesn't read my blog often. I wasn't using protection and my laptop got infected with the electronic version of The Swine Flu! And just as I started receiving suggestions for free virus protection websites and whatever, well, my laptop went kaput.

Otherwise I would've blogged about the satisfaction of watching Superman beat up on Prince James. And I would've tossed in my two cents about how the media painstakingly chooses which stories it broadcasts all over the world and which ones it doesn't.

Of course the French airliner that was lost over the ocean is tragic, but do you realize how many plane crashes happen all the time? And you know I would've had something ignorant to say about the new drug approved by the FDA to fight cancer — for dogs.

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'Absolute Randomness From Dick, Oprah, Dog Cancer and Plane Crashes'

Has it really been three years since my cousin and I were sitting in her kitchen wondering what business ideas to pursue? I didn't always believe back then, but Shanna has taken a simple idea and turned it into the source for all events and entertainment in Charlotte. And Greensboro. And Raleigh.

And now, she's bringing it to Chocolate City! Visit the site to become a member [which is FREE to do] and receive "The Guide," a weekly newsletter with all the events and happenings in the Chocolate City. Tell your friends so they can become members as well. And sign up for the mobile text alerts of any special events, special offers and whatever else is going on in the Chocolate City.

And if you're a model, aspire to be one or are sort of kind of a big deal, submit your photos to be considered for the Chocolate of the Month, which is modeled [excuse the pun] after the Carolina Cuties. Once you become a member, follow the links to find the instructions of how to submit your photos.

If you do events, own a venue with events, know people who do events or simply have something you want the people of DC to know, send an email to promotions@mingleberry.com.

As I prepare for my 35th birthday, my homeboy Carlton sends me this:



A doctor on his morning walk noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she replied.

Hmmm...

I just received an email from my hosting company saying my email account has been sending an enormous amount of spam and shutting down their servers. Whatever it is that I've contracted, it's becoming more of a headache than reading about the Swine Flu in every newspaper, magazine and website. My mama even called me yesterday to remind me to wash my hands every time I shake one of your hands!

If you've received an email from me saying anything unusual, such as "Go Green — use both sides of toilet paper" or "I'm officially a Cowboys fan," please disregard the absolute idiocy of those statements.

DETOUR: So, until my hosting company and I figure out which @sshole hijacked my email regular email address, I can be reached at davidrussellgaines@gmail.com.

"There is always some specific moment when we become aware that our youth is gone; but, years after, we know it was much later."

      — Mignon McLaughlin


The other day [though it seems like every other day] I was asked when was I going to settle down. My response, as usual, was that I am settled down. Sure, I know what everyone means when they ask, but they're only asking because I'm about to turn 35.

"Isn't it time?"

I always found it quite insensate to "settle down" because it was time. Aren't relationships built around two individuals developing chemistry and not by the hands of a clock? Emotions aren't determined nor developed by how many days we've walked this planet. And there is no time limit to finding the one before they're all gone.

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'Are We Old Yet?'

I'm guilty. I've been doing it without protection, and now I'm paying for it. Back in 2005 when my protection expired, I simply didn't bother reinvesting in more protection. Who needs it, right? As long as you've been there before and had no issues in the past you should be straight. Right?

Well, this weekend wasn't a good one for me. I did venture off the beaten path, took a look around and got myself into something I shouldn't've. I wasn't properly protected nor was I even concerned about it, not even thinking about it when I so ignorantly and blindly did what I did. Sad thing is I can barely remember when and where it happened.

I won't be writing as often for the time being. I have some disinfecting to complete. Gotta figure out where this virus came from and hope that it's not fatal.

My advice to everyone: when it's time to renew your computer's virus protection software, instinctively pay up the money before you end up like me — sitting in front of an infected laptop frustrated because you just can't seem to figure out where you went wrong.

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'"I've been doing it without protection, and now I'm paying for it..."'

Ummm, I'm not even sure if there is any credibility to this, but just the thought of a Super Bowl being played in London is like having the Sumo Championships in Tehran...


This would be a bloody travesty. No offense Londoners, but any sport called football where 320 pound freaks of nature can get $100 million contracts should be kept in America.

I have nothing more to say.

Remember back in the day when we could tell how old the desks were in school by how much gum was stuck to the bottom? I've never been a big gum chewer, but after I got all the flavor out, I knew where to put it. I'm not sure when gum was banned in schools [maybe it wasn't allowed in the first place?], but there's a push for it to make a comeback.

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'Secret Weapon for Graduating School With Honors: Gum'

I'm not exactly sure who had the job of weighing everyone and taking their averages, but I found this site with the Top 10 Fattest Cities and they're not talking about the hot and tempting kind of fat. They mean the "get off your fat @ss and do some jumping jacks" kind of fat.

The kind of fat you get when eating at Waffle House too many times a week [oh how I miss the Waffle House!]. And to my surprise, as I was thinking who really cares about cities like Yuma, Arizona, and Scottsbluff, Nebraska — weighing in at number nine was my hometown, Fayetteville, North Carolina.

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'Do You Live in one of the Top 10 Fattest Cities in America?'

I used to have an aversion to those email and Facebook questionnaires, polls and surveys, but after reading so many other people's answers, I find them more interesting. Them as in the person writing his/her answer. The most recent one I read was Kareema's answers to "I Just Answered Another Round of Meaningless Questions." Did you know she drank V8? Does anyone else actually drink V8? And her pants inseam is 35 inches!? That's almost three feet of all legs!

The questionnaire looks pretty interesting. It's random and whoever came up with the questions obviously had too much time to think of these. So, why not? Here goes...

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'I Just Answered Another Round of Meaningless Questions'