“Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.”
Archive for » 2008 «
29
Dec 2008
Dec 2008
My homeboy CJ Cline sent this one out. Perhaps it was to give everyone a chuckle before the end of the year. Or maybe it’s a guide of what not to say if you love your significant other!
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels and asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started…
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started…
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…
So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started…
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.” So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.”
And then the fight started…
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And then the fight started…
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started…
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started…
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
And then the fight started…
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
And then the fight started…
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” She said.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
And then the fight started…
23
Dec 2008
Dec 2008
There have been many times I would be standing at the fare card machines, needing to reload my Metro SmarTrip card, and it seemed like everyone at the machines were absolutely incompetent of figuring out how to get a card. This isn’t New York with the self-explanatory touch screens. This is DC where if you’re not already smart, move out.
Well, on inauguration weekend, there are going to be about a million or more of these clueless individuals [some of them my friends I'm sure, but I still love them] standing 10, 20 maybe 30 deep waiting for their chance to stare at the machines with a blank look, ignoring the hissing behind them from the others awaiting their chance to stand there dumbfounded.
So let me help anyone out who seriously doesn’t want to be that one who’s holding up the line…
Category: Just Babbling
Tags: Barack Obama, WMATA
17
Dec 2008
Dec 2008
Category: Quote of the Moment
10
Dec 2008
Dec 2008
— George S. Patton
Category: Quote of the Moment
03
Dec 2008
Dec 2008
— Booker T. Washington
Category: Quote of the Moment
29
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
Still got leftovers from Thanksgiving? Tired of eating turkey sandwiches? Don’t want to throw away good food because your mom told you someone was starving somewhere? Check out these recipes specifically for Thanksgiving leftovers.
Category: Food
Tags: Thanksgiving
26
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
If you know anything about go-go then you have to know who Chuck Brown is. He’s a legend in go go; He’s the godfather of go go. He may get a street in Washington, DC, named after him.
Chuck Brown (born 1934) is an African-American jazz guitarist and singer who is affectionately called “The Godfather of Go-Go”. Go-go is a subgenre of funk music developed in and around Washington, D.C. in the mid- and late 1970s. While its musical classification, influences, and origins are debated, Brown is regarded as the fundamental force behind the creation of go-go music.
Brown’s musical career began in the 1960s playing guitar with Jerry Butler and The Earls of Rhythm, joining Los Latinos in 1965. He still performs music today and is commonly known in the Washington, DC area. Brown’s early hits include “I Need Some Money” and “Bustin’ Loose”. “Bustin’ Loose” has been adopted by the Washington Nationals baseball team as its home run celebration song. Brown also recorded go-go covers of early jazz and blues songs, such as “Go-Go Swing” Duke Ellington’s “It Don’t Mean a Thing If Ain’t Got That Swing”, “Moody’s Mood for Love”, Johnny Mercer’s “Midnight Sun”, Louis Jordan’s “Run Joe“, and T-Bone Walker’s “Stormy Monday”.
He has influenced other go-go bands such as Big G and The Backyard Band, Rare Essence, Experience Unlimited (EU), Little Benny and the Masters, and Trouble Funk.
The song “Ashley’s Roachclip” from the Soul Searchers’ 1974 album Salt of the Earth contains a famous drum break.
Brown is considered a local legend in Washington, D.C., and has appeared in television advertisements for the Washington Post and other area companies. The D.C. Lottery’s “Rolling Cash 5″ ad campaign features Chuck Brown singing his 2007 song “The Party Roll” in front of various D.C. city landmarks such as Ben’s Chili Bowl.
Brown resides in Waldorf, Maryland. His son, Nekos Brown, is a sophomore defensive end for the 2007 Virginia Tech football team.
Category: Chocolate City
Tags: Chuck Brown, Washington DC
25
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
Also, my cousin Shanna sent me an email with a coupon attached for TGIFridays. It’s a “Buy One Entree, Get One Free” coupon, good for the rest of the month for those of you who prefer not to eat turkey for the next week.
Category: Just Babbling
Tags: Shanna Wiley
25
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
If you can’t wait for the change to happen in the White House next year, you can get started with a change in how you prepare your Thanksgiving bird. For those of you who are preparing the bird for the holiday, check out these recipes for Thanksgiving turkeys.
Some of the recipes include BBQ Turkey, Salvadorian Roasted Turkey, Turkey Mercedes, Greek Traditional Turkey with Chestnut and Pine Nut Stuffing and of course, The Garbage Can Turkey.
Category: Food
Tags: Thanksgiving
23
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
Those who know me know my anti-Wal-Mart views. Though they’ve made some changes over the years, well, I’ll spare you the politics. But I will give credit where credit is due, in this case, in a $12.5 million letter of credit Wal-Mart provided to the Martin Luther King National Project Foundation.
With this letter of credit, it now appears construction of the memorial on the Tidal Basin can begin. The goal is to reach $120 million in which $100 million has been received. If you would like to donate or just learn more about the project, you can visit the MLK Memorial website. Those who donate can have their name etched into the National Memorial in a special section for special donors.
The generous support provided by Wal-Mart allows the Memorial Foundation to obtain a construction permit from the National Park Service (NPS) to begin construction of the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial. Both the National Capital Planning Commission and the Commission of Fine Arts announced final approval of the Memorial design in September 2008. The Memorial Foundation submitted an application for a construction permit along with the final design documents to the NPS in early October 2008. The letter of credit allows the Memorial Foundation to submit the final financial documents to the NPS to obtain a construction permit.
Category: Chocolate City, Coming Soon to DC
Tags: National Landmarks, Walmart
21
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
I’m trying to imagine what Pam Alston [who sent this bit of humor] would look like without shopping, hair appointments and wine…
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of
dollars for dinner.I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you
this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive.”“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done
in 20 years!”“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m
going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.”The homeless Woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with
you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.”I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks
like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”
Category: Humor
Tags: Pam Alston
19
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
“The fact that my 15 minutes of fame has extended a little longer than 15 minutes is somewhat surprising to me and completely baffling to my wife.”
— President Elect Barack Obama
Category: Quote of the Moment
Tags: Barack Obama
18
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
If Louis Farrakhan can bring a million people to the National Mall, how many people do you think are going to show up for Barack Obama? There are already projections as high as 4 million people descending on the National Mall, but no one can figure out where all these people are going to stay.
[I guess for those of you who are utterly confused about what the National Mall, as some of my clueless friends have been, the National Mall is the outdoor area between the U.S. Capitol Building and the Lincoln Memorial. It is not a shopping mall and it's not going to be warm.]
I already have about 8 people confirmed who say they are staying at my place. And each of them is aware that there are only but so many towels at my place for 8 people over an entire weekend. Let alone sleeping space.
Category: Chocolate City
Tags: Barack Obama
12
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
“Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.”
— President Elect Barack Obama
Category: Quote of the Moment
Tags: Barack Obama
12
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
As the Obama Watch continues to monitor his every move 24 hours a day, there’s still some news that not everyone hears about. Then again, some of it isn’t as relevant to people as how Obama looks in a sweat suit coming out of the gym after approximately 1 hour and 22 minutes.
But, here in DC, after an ugly city government takeover of the public school system and a lot of mudslinging in the past couple of years, and the battle between Chancellor Michelle Rhee and the teacher’s union, and the recent firing of a principal after at least three teachers were assaulted recently — the thought of Barack and Michelle Obama sending their daughters to a DC public school is quite, well, hmmm…
Category: Chocolate City, Education
Tags: Barack Obama, Michelle Rhee
10
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
Some of you probably have already have received an email about this, but for those of you who haven’t, or those of you who haven’t already ordered yours, you can get a free Barack Obama commemorative sticker.
Want the free Obama sticker to celebrate our victory? It’s designed by Shepard Fairey, the artist who created the iconic HOPE poster. And MoveOn’s giving them away totally free — even the shipping’s free.
I just ordered mine. Click this link to get your free Obama sticker.
Category: National Politics
Tags: Barack Obama
08
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
I’m not exactly sure what I was thinking, more like think I was the only one thinking this, but after Obama won the elections, I just knew I would buy a Washington Post to frame it and put up in the pad. This is a historical event — not a once in a lifetime, but first in a lifetime.
But by the time I got to every single newspaper stand, box or seller, they were sold out of newspapers. And not only the Washington Post, but every and anything with “Obama Wins” on it.
Luckily, though, my roommate somehow someway got an extra copy of the Washington Post which is on its way to the custom framers. Ideally, though, I wanted the front of several different newspapers. So, someone suggested to me eBay, where you can covers from different cities, specifically Chicago, New York and USA Today, all selling from anywhere between $9.99 to several hundreds of dollars.
And then, my friend Darryl Bryant sent out a link with an image of almost every single front page cover the morning after the election.
“You can’t put a computer screen into a scrapbook,” said Joyce Mutcherson-Ridley, 56, an office manager who came to The Washington Post’s 15th Street NW headquarters only to learn that the paper’s first printing, reporting the election of Barack Obama as the nation’s first black president, had sold out by 11 a.m.
Category: Passing Thoughts
Tags: Barack Obama, Darryl Bryant
02
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
It started back in the day, maybe when I was in the 5th grade, maybe 7th grade. My dad used to take me running with him, and one day, we chose a new route through one of the neighborhoods as opposed to our normal route on Ft. Bragg. This route, measuring just a mile or two, didn’t seem so bad.
We changed into our gear at Morganton Road Elementary School and embarked on what would be a defining moment for me, though I wouldn’t realize it until I was much older. The first quarter mile or so, no problem. All you could here was four feet pounding on the street, and huffing and puffing because my dad rarely set his pace based on my [lack of] speed.
About half-way the oxygen fought against me. I was breathing as if we were being chased by the grim reaper. It seemed like we were passing the same houses over and over again and getting nowhere closer to where my dad parked his Subaru. It was like being stuck in instant replay.
more…
Category: Passing Thoughts
Tags: Steve Gaines
02
Nov 2008
Nov 2008
Well, the moment we’ve all been waiting for is here! Yet, after a year and a half of intense, emotional and frustrating moments from when Obama first announced he was running for president, some people are apparently running out of gas! As my homegirl Jammica has brought up, there’s some people out there who say the lines are just too long or since they are that sure that Barack Obama is going to win in their state [or Commonwealth or District] they’re not going to vote.
Huh? What!?
Ok, I admit. I’m an impatient person, too. Twice I went downtown to vote early last week, and both times I left, mainly because I only get an hour for lunch and they were predicting up to two hours to get through the whole process. And I’m dreading getting in line Tuesday after work and standing there for up to three hours, hoping they don’t run out of paper ballots like they did earlier this year for the primaries. But I’ll be there. And I know without a doubt that Obama is going to win DC, probably upwards of 96%. John Kerry won 90% of the Chocolate City’s votes in 2004.
But, the elections is more than just about casting your vote for Obama [or McCain if any McCain supporters actually read this].
Category: National Politics
Tags: Barack Obama, Jammica Moore, Mike "2-3" Jackson
31
Oct 2008
Oct 2008
For Halloween my homeboy Eric and I hung out with my homegirl Marita and her friends at Chi Cha Lounge on U Street. We went as people who don’t dress up for Halloween. Before we got there, Eric joked about there being someone who’ll try to pull off a Sarah Palin costume. And sure enough, we did see Sarah Palin, with her hunting rifle and all…
Category: My People, Photos, Social Events
Tags: Chi Cha Lounge (DC), Eric Mack, Halloween, Jennifer Williamson, Marita Gumbs
28
Oct 2008
Oct 2008
Another legend has passed away in Rudy Ray Moore, more commonly known as Dolemite M@#$%er F@#ker!. He died of complications from diabetes at the age of 81 in Ohio.
THIS IS EXPLICIT! If you have virgin ears, you might not want to watch this video of Dolemite performing live. Seriously.
His life changed in 1970 when he found himself listening to Rico, a regular at the record store in Hollywood, where Mr. Moore worked.
He was particularly captivated by Rico’s rude, rollicking stories of Dolemite, a name derived from dolomite, a mineral used in some cements. Mr. Moore perfected the Dolemite stories in comedy routines, most of which he recorded, then spent all his record earnings to make the movie “Dolemite.” A sequel, “The Human Tornado,” followed. A second sequel, “The Dolemite Explosion,” also starring Mr. Moore, may be released later this year.
Category: Just Babbling
23
Oct 2008
Oct 2008
I remember when we looked forward to Halloween to see the neighbors one mo’gin before it got cold. collect bags of teeth-rotting candies and picking out a costume that you only hoped no one else also was wearing. Moshi sent me a picture confirming those days are now officially over…
Category: Humor
Tags: Moshi Barnard
17
Sep 2008
Sep 2008
A bomb squad was called to the Columbia Heights Metro Station here in Washington, DC, because a stuffed polar bear set up outside the station “looked suspicious”. Not the type of stuffed polar bear as in the stuffed Bigfoot those naive dudes in Georgia said they found that would make us eat our words that it was real, but literally a stuffed animal. And just to be sure there wasn’t a bomb in it, they cut its head off. Worse, though, they shut down the station causing even more issues for unhappy Metro riders already dealing with Metro setbacks all week.
But, the crazy part is, it’s not the first time a stuffed polar bear was found in DC, and it’s even promoted on Greenpeace’s website! The DCist website even posted another photo of a stuffed polar bear on the National Mall. Even in the middle of DC traffic holding a sign that reads SOS!
Category: Chocolate City
16
Sep 2008
Sep 2008
In an effort to always support my people, as well as my people’s people, check out Corey Richardson’s blog called Vexed in the City. Warning: This site obviously isn’t intended for simple-minded people, those who drool over Sarah Palin, those who think Emmit Till hold’s the NFL record for rushing yards in a career or those who think Tyler Perry is the greatest thing since Spike Lee’s School Daze. A taste from his latest post…
How do you people sleep at night… wait, I take that back, you probably sleep very well after nodding off to another episode of House Of Payne whilst clutching your Zane novel and wondering when the McRib is coming back to McDonald’s… I’m getting all kinds of crap thrown my way because I actually had the gaul to say I don’t like Tyler Perry.
Category: Just Babbling
Tags: Corey Richardson
