While waiting for an oil change several weeks ago, the ladies and I were just sitting outside on a breezy day not far from where soon will be one of four Walmarts. What better way to get me to change the subject of the evils of Walmart than having me take more pictures of Najwa?
If there was one thing Nduku and I weren’t expecting to be spending a lot of money on, hands down it was bibs. We’ve heard people talk about teething, but never would I have imagined how much spittage Najwa could produce per minute! As soon as I put a bib on her, it’s drenched. This has been going on for a couple of months, but finally, there has been a teeth-sighting!
Naturally as a man there’s an anxiety of what happens when our little girls reach that dating age. I can vividly see Thanksgiving dinner with someone sitting across the table from me, not quite what I had in mind and I’ll leave it at that.
Whenever I get on the Metro and witness what some of today’s teenagers have to offer, I cringe. They haven’t been taught manners and some probably don’t even know how to spell it. Some think they’re manner than their fellow make friends.
Nduku found a solution though. A simple application to have filled out for anyone interested in being Najwa’s significant other. I don’t care hold old [or young] he is. This application is going to become mandatory to even call her. And if you need your parents to help fill it out, you’re automatically disqualified.
It’s amazing what men converse about when they have kids. Mike Lindsay started it off with his son; then Eric Mack followed up with his daughter before we had Najwa. Several years ago the three of us went to New York and the last thing we were thinking about was kids. Friday night we rolled out again to celebrate Eric’s move back to North Carolina, and slowly but surely, the kids entered the conversation.
One of the main topics was college. Specifically saving money for college. Sure, we can put away 10 percent of our check and hope we can keep up with the increasing costs of college, but savings accounts generally earn you less than 1 percent interest while inflation alone increase up to 3 percent a year. In other words you’re money loses value as fast as your car does once you ride off the lot with it.
A congratulations is in order to Eric with his new job in Raleigh where his family is moving. This weekend we rolled out to Eric’s to help him toss out some furniture as he prepares to make that move back to North Carolina. Our homeboy Mike also came through and it’s amazing how just a couple of years ago, it would’ve been all adults in the room. But just like that, our kids are the center of the attraction…
Click on FS for Full Screen
It’s been a minute since I was in my hometown, Fayetteville, NorthCak. Usually my mom comes to DC for her visits with the doctors at Walter Reed Hospital where she received her kidney transplant. But since those don’t happen as fast as Najwa’s growing, Nduku and I took a road trip for my mom’s birthday.
And I promise my mom was smiling the entire time we were there. Last time my mom saw her, Najwa slept most of the day, laid on her back most of the day and slept the rest of the day. And slept. Six months later and Najwa is one active baby. We got to my childhood home around 4 am but my mom and Najwa were acting like it was 4 in the afternoon.
Najwa’s sitting up now. Has her ears pierced. Can hold things in her hand. And knows how to let us know when she wants attention with a shriek. Which is every time we’re not giving her attention. But she sat still long enough every now and again to take a few pictures…
Arnold, my manager, and I were talking today about having a child and how people who have dogs [but no children] say it’s like having a child. There isn’t a word to describe how inane that comparison is. But if you don’t have a child, it’s hard to see it from any other point of view. With a dog you do have responsibilities and expenses and might loss a little sleep here and there.
But having a child is like being born a human being again, only an upgrade of your former self. It’s not adding another set of items on your to do list; having a child is about rewriting or even replacing your to do list. Whatever was on it and whatever is now on it are not necessarily compatible. It’s not walk the dog then hit the club scene. It’s change a diaper, read a book, wash that extra load of laundry with spit up on it, do some tummy time, play peek-a-boo, prepare another bottle, play, feed, change, rock to sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat…
It’s been six months since my mom last saw Najwa. She probably thinks Najwa’s still a newborn, but at her 6-month doctor’s visit, Najwa tipped the scales at 20 pounds 12 ounces and measured 26 inches tall [or is it short?].
Not only did Najwa get four more shots [vaccinations], she got her ears pierced, and I really did try to hold it but I couldn’t stop laughing from seeing her face when the pediatrician popped that needle through her earlobe. I would’ve taken pictures but I was struggling with holding her legs down.
This weekend, though, we’re making a trip down to The ‘Ville for my mom’s birthday as I resist the urge to sneak out for the Prince concert in Greensboro. I will take pictures of grandma’s face when she sees how big our little girl is getting.
And then at the end of the year, Najwa flies for the first time as we head to Kenya for her to meet her other grandma!
So if you’ll be in Fayetteville, NC, this weekend, hit me up.
Another grocery store Nduku and I visit a lot is called H&A [Hispanic & Asian?] in Langley Park. Like the Grand Mart in Alexandria, the products are international, the meat comes from an animal just killed the other day and you need a translation dictionary to figure out what some of the stuff is.
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It’s been a while since I stepped foot in it though. For the sake of time I’ll hang out in the parking lot with Najwa while Nduku does the shopping. Sometimes, though it takes a bit longer than Najwa is willing to wait. I’ll hold her, play with her, step outside the car and let her get some fresh air, but when it’s time for her to eat, she’s not trying to wait until we get home. When she wants it, she wants it now!
So the other day I was about to prepare her bottle, but getting her back into the car seat just to make the bottle then get her back out of the car seat only seemed to piss her off more. So I left her in the driver’s seat. Then this crazy image crossed my mind of Nduku coming around the corner with bags of groceries and Najwa laying in the street because she can’t quite balance herself yet.
No worries. I buckled her up, grabbed her bottle and formula, but then, amazingly, Najwa got quiet. Figuratively she’s always already in the driver’s seat, but physically, when she was behind the wheel literally, she was good. This only makes me wonder what happens when she can actually reach the pedals and starts getting this idea that daddy is going to buy her a car!?
There’s a grocery called Grand Mart in Alexandria that Nduku and I go to from time to time to get our meats, veggies and stuff you won’t find in your local American-style grocery store. The food and spices are generally imported from other countries. The meat is fresher [and more affordable], the rice is more Korean [I like my rice sticky] and the variety is more exotic.
The people shopping speak English with an accent, some of the spices come in plastic bags with labels of companies we never heard of but taste like that were just packaged yesterday, and the seafood smells like it was pulled right out the ocean before you walked in.
Just thought I’d share. This past Saturday, before hitting the Grand Mart, we had lunch at TGIFridays…
As Najwa approaches her 6th month birthday, she has really started to develop her personality. A little feisty, a little fussy and a lot of fire. She’s discovering all those limbs are hers and she can control them with a little effort. She’s a happy baby when her stomach’s not empty, and she isn’t shy about letting us know when she wants some attention.
And Najwa’s getting used to the camera being pointed at her constantly. It’s amazing the things babies do. One moment they sleep 16 hours a day; the next they’re at the top of their lungs saying something that not even they know what they’re saying. But it’s so cute you just marvel and let ‘em rip…
For Valentine’s weekend, the ladies and I went to Philadelphia to visit the city of brotherly love. We checked out the LOVE sculpture seen over and over in movies based in Philly. We visited the Liberty Bell, which was smaller than I was expecting, Independence Hall [which was wrapped in scaffolding for renovations], South Street, Broad Street, JFK Plaza and we even went out to Cherry Hill, New Jersey where our homegirl Natalie Bargeron took the time to come visit us and meet Najwa for the first time.
Natalie came down from Philly last summer to the BaByQ Shower/Cookout and got us a gift basket which included one of the coolest books that I read to Najwa. She’s lived in Philly forever, visited DC [and Atlanta when I still lived there], but I finally got to visit where she lives. It was a bit windy so we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to do, but we’ll be back…
[Click on FS in the bottom right corner for full screen view]
I love the way Najwa looks at me in the morning after four hours of sleep. In which I catch some more z’s then wake up and she’s still looking at me two hours later wondering when am I going to stop sleeping like a baby. I love the way she giggles when we play peek-a-boo then has the confused look when I tire out at 15 minutes. And then I keep going and she acts as if we’re just getting started.
I love when I unstrap her diaper to see last night’s dinner, and she looks at me and smiles reminding me she needs me as much as I need her. I love the way my finger would slip and some of that dinner gets under my nails knowing not everyone has that opportunity unless it’s their own dinner.
I love the way she cries when I step away to fetch her bottle, as if to say she’d rather have me near than eat. And how her mouth starts working even before the nipple reaches her face. I love the way she passes gas while sitting on my lap as if it’s ambient noise and anyone who thinks it’s rude doesn’t understand how it feels to trap that gas inside the body.
Chad called not too long ago saying he’ll be in town not too long from now. So, we packed up the little one and headed out to Largo Town Center. And just as we finished our meals at Carolina Kitchen, Chad was back in his “mobile” home away from home back on the road again…
If you want to invest in a company you know will never go out of business, try Energizer. Ok, maybe one day someone will find an alternative to constantly buying 12-pack AA batteries for parents like me who can’t seem to take enough photos of their daughter, but for now, they’re safe.
Then again, maybe we should invest in rechargeable batteries?
And yes Nduku is going to say something about me posting these photos with Najwa’s hair looking like that, but I love it!
One day you’re sitting there with this bundle of joy, a newborn that can only sleep, eat, cry and that other thing. You handle her with care, as if she’s a piece of glass. You would get more sleep if you weren’t sleeping with one eye open and jumping up when the furnace turns on thinking it’s the baby.
And then within a few months, that newborn makes all these silly sounds, she sneezes, gets the hiccups, rubs her eyes when she gets sleepy and all you can do is marvel wondering how you did it.
Najwa is only 4-months-old and already I don’t recognize that newborn. And I’ve become obsessed with capturing these moments before they’re gone…
Check out more photos/videos of Najwa…
If you were at North Carolina A&T State University back in 90s, you knew Street Fatigues. You weren’t going to find them at Macy’s or Four Seasons Mall, but if you visited the Student Union, ate in the “Caf,” stood in the quad, you saw them — the students with a bag full of custom designed gear by A&T’s own Umar Riggs.
Umar and his people were pushing the gear not from the proverbial trunk, but literally from his trunk. Then it was a table somewhere on campus or a booth at Homecoming. One shirt at a time, Umar now has taken Street Fatigues from Greensboro, NC, to Dubai, London, Amsterdam, Germany, Tokyo and worn by the likes of The Roots, Mos Def, Meshell Ndegeocello and Missy Elliot.
Several years ago I had the honor of receiving a “Brag Bag.” Umar hit me up for my address and soon enough, my complimentary Street Fatigue products showed up. I’ve rocked the shirts [wearing the Obama one now] here and there, but the cap has become my favorite headgear worn virtually every chance I get. And most recently, Street Fatigues has been seen being rocked by Najwa…
Najwa Gaines rockin' the Street Fatigues.
Time flies when you’re having fun, huh? Everyday there’s a new something to play with. Facebook, the Wii, instantly video-streaming movies directly to the LED TV which interfaces with NetFlix through the remote while DVRing a reality TV show…
Remember when we called our first date from a home phone to say we’re on the way and if we got lost we had to find a pay phone? And once we got there we’d go to Blockbuster to rent a VCR movie of who-knows-what? And watched it on a floor model TV that might’ve had a remote?
One day Najwa will be asking if her friends remember the time when they would watch TV at home, TVs that weren’t even 3D, TVs that came in stereo only, when she and her friends would communicate with handheld devices through voice only, had to hold it up to their ears to hear anything and had to charge the batteries every day. She might even ask if her friends remember everyone had an online profile but had to login in to one site, Facebook, to interact with each other.
Here are 20 things that became obsolete before I even realized they were. And here are 30 things Najwa will know as well as I know the 8-track. Which is nothing.
It’s every parents’ greatest anticipation. The first word!
Science made it so babies say dada before mama. The d sound apparently is easier for babies to sound out first. But sometimes a baby’s first word is bird or ball. Najwa’s actually many months away from her first word [which I was hoping would be "Hail to the Redskins"], but she sure is trying to say something here…
Years ago while living in Atlanta, I carried my camera everywhere I went and shot pictures of everyone I met. Every event, every moment, every person was my mindset. I simply didn’t want a single memory to be forgotten. One of my friends, Tangela Hall, had this habit of making funny faces every time the camera was pointed in her direction. No matter how hard I tried, all her pictures had her tongue sticking out, her eyes crossed or some other face that would bring joy to a three-month-old.
One day when talking about it, she explained that a static photo of her just smiling, just standing there misses the essence of who she really is. The personality is hidden beneath the pretty smile and body pose. She made it a point to make the photo more about who she is rather than what she looks like.
So, the other day armed with my camera, I was taking [even more] pictures of Najwa while sitting in her swing. And every time I tried to snap her smile, she’d make a funny face. And every time I asked her to sit still and smile, she’d make another one. And another one. And another one…
As we approach a year since Nduku and I — ummm — conceived, the question has come up whether or not we plan on having another child. Well, actually, we’re still enjoying our first child. But the thought obviously has crossed our minds. Being that she has to carry the child for 9 months, and remembering what it was like for Najwa, I’ll let Nduku decide if and when.
So, I was reading the Think Pretty Smart blog about when parents have children and relegate the oldest one to play mommy…
Now, I do understand special circumstances where an older sibling may need to help out. BUT…To put the child care burden on an older sibling is just mean. You’re stripping one child of their childhood and possibly causing resentment.
Not that we have plans for a child as of yet, but if/when we do conceive Najwa a sibling, I’m going to keep this thought in mind. And once I formulate an opinion, I’ll share it. Until then, for those with multiple little ones, what do you do?
Slowly but surely I’m figuring out this thing called technology. After many, many years I gave up on designing my own template for my blog and just downloaded one I’d never be able to design. I’m getting better at integrating Facebook with my blogs, though I haven’t done it on this site yet. And just yesterday I uploaded my first YouTube video.
Of course the video is of Najwa as she discovers her right hand!
Of course Nduku and I being brought up differently, we have different ideas of how to raise Najwa. Nduku likes to give her glucose. I don’t see a problem with Mountain Dew [just kidding!]. One thing we do agree on is not shying away from having Najwa meet many different people, seeing many different face and hearing many different voices.
Recently Najwa was paid a visit from some of Nduku’s people. Maureen, the one who introduced us, came by recently. Normally when someone claims he/she won’t ever have kids, they’re a bit awkward holding one. I know a decade ago I was allergic to babies.
Maureen, though, had no issues holding Najwa. Maybe Najwa knew it was Maureen who started the butterfly effect that led to her birth. That and Maureen’s genuine smile, from one Kenyan to a half-Kenyan.
more…
When I was shopping for a new mobile phone, one feature I had no interest in was the built-in camera. Not only do I carry around a huge Canon 10D Digital SLR [Thanks Chad!] with a Canon 28-125mm EF macro lens, a Canon 100-300 mm zoom lens, an 18-200 mm lens, a Canon 380 Speedlite and enough memory for 1000+ photos, I have a Sony Cybershot digital point-and-shoot with a Carl Zeiss lens.
But, somehow, I found a way to put the iPhone’s camera to use…
Najwa and Mommy
Najwa turned one month old today, and to celebrate, we took her to another half-Kenyan’s house. President Barack Obama wasn’t anywhere to be found, but there were several hundred others there for the Annual White House Garden and Grounds Tour.
Every parent has to want their child to be the one who cures cancer. Is there any other greater achievement to be accomplished other than walking on the surface of Mars or being inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame? Science has been instrumental in improving the quality of life ever since man had to start fires using sticks and stones.
Najwa is several years away from making any great discoveries, let alone from learning her alphabet, but she can still make her contributions by participating in a study on child development at the University of Maryland.
Though it looks inhumane hooking up a less-than-one-month-old infant to a machine, with cables, monitors and videotaping the whole process, the experiment was completely harmless to Najwa. Nothing is inserted, no drugs were taken, no jolts of electric shock nor water-boarding.
more…
My mom means the world to me. Especially after I embarked on the journey of life, leaving home behind, she has always been there bailing me out whenever I found myself in a jam. That’s why it was so important to me that she was there when Najwa was born…
Yes, we’re guilty. As soon as Najwa was born, we bought any toy labeled for 0-3 month olds and claimed to have any kind of educational or developmental purpose. If I have any anxieties, it’s Najwa not being the smartest person in every single class of her entire school career. Starting with preschool.
At first it did confuse me, though, how a baby who can’t even hold her own head up could have a toy. Babies have no motor skills [arms and legs flailing as if there's a spider crawling up their legs] and they have toys? They sleep all but 8 hours a day, unfortunately overlapping with the 8 hours we like to be sleep and they have toys? Babies who at birth don’t even recognize their own parents and they have toys!?
That’s when I learned more about the development of baby’s vision:
• Babies are born with 20/400 vision
• It’s not until babies are 3-4 years old before developing adult 20/20 vision
• Babies see the world in black and white with shades of gray for the first 4 months
• Babies can only see 8-12 inches in front of them
• At 1 month, babies aren’t sensitive to light so there’s no need to turn off the lights when they nap
• Babies can’t even see the mobile over the crib until maybe the second month
Perhaps Najwa isn’t quite ready to read the books we have. You know we already bought several books long before she was born. Then there’s some great books we received from our friends like Natalie Bargeron, an amazing book that has become my favorite already; Kate Gersh, another amazing book with an African theme and love story; and a fascinating children’s book written and published by Nduku’s co-worker Kimberly Conway.
But with the number of toys we have — including the little bird we call Marita [the blue bird in the middle of the photo above] because, well, our friend Marita Gumbs got it for us — Najwa will be reading soon enough, maybe even before she can even hold the books by herself if I can help it!
Ok, maybe babies don’t get claustrophobic, but Najwa sure seems like she wants to get out and see the world. Or is that Nduku? Regardless, we decided three weeks is long enough; it’s time to escape the pad and get some fresh air. Time to introduce Najwa to the real world.
And where does Nduku want to go first? DSW of course. Gotta show Najwa how to shop for shoes!
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![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/thumbs/thumbs_img_1873.jpg]Dad and daughter wondering if mom and grandma were done shopping.](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/img_1873.jpg){kind=link}
![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/thumbs/thumbs_img_2009.jpg]Najwa can now sit up on her own!](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/img_2009.jpg){kind=link}
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![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/thumbs/thumbs_img_1940.jpg]](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/img_1940.jpg){kind=link}
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![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/thumbs/thumbs_img_1869.jpg]I don't think my mom stopped smiling the entire time we were in Fayetteville!](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/grandmas-march-2011/img_1869.jpg){kind=link}
![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/thumbs/thumbs_gedc1953.jpg]Mom and DaughterNajwa is all smiles, but she has no idea she's about to get four shots and both her ears pierced in just a moment!](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/gedc1953.jpg){kind=link}
![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/thumbs/thumbs_gedc1956.jpg]Najwa Mi Museo Gaines](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/gedc1956.jpg){kind=link}
![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/thumbs/thumbs_gedc1971.jpg]Najwa Mi Museo GainesToni, Najwa's sitter, put these "things" (whatever they're called) in Najwa's hair though I prefer the absolute anarchy hairstyle.](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/gedc1971.jpg){kind=link}
![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/thumbs/thumbs_gedc1975.jpg]Najwa Mi Museo GainesNajwa just after getting her ears pierced. It took a minute before she started smiling again and just when she was getting used to them, we held her down for four more vaccination shots!](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/gedc1975.jpg){kind=link}
![[img src=http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/thumbs/thumbs_gedc1941.jpg]Dad and Daughter](http://davidgaines.com/wp-content/flagallery/6-month-doctors-visit/gedc1941.jpg){kind=link}
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