While many people chose to watch reality TV over Hollywood’s interpretation of life [or the news networks' sensationalizing of life], I somehow got hooked on reading blogs. There are several newsy type blogs, but blogs by people about everyday life are the best.
Sometimes reading other people’s blogs makes me look at my blog and sigh at how much more entertaining it could be. One of my favorites is Dana Saxon’s ““Black Girl Gone.” She’s giving us a tour of not only her life but a tour of Amsterdam, the Amsterdam you won’t find in travel magazines. I’ve been waiting for the next episode from Asabi Beal, Kim Miles, Lei Lani, Chantelle and especially my homeboy Daz.
But one blogger who I’m really anticipating feigned a comeback a few months ago. I’m not sure if we ever met, but Corey Richardson is my homeboy Devin’s homeboy. And when I say his posts at Vexed in the City are fire, well, this dude is ANGRY!! Let me see if I can find a sample that’s workable for my family-safe blog…
Today’s topic: “Can You Believe This Sh-t?”
-The Tea Party: I’m glad to see racists out in public without their white hoods on.
-LeBron James: F-ck you. You abandoned an entire city that had nothing else going for it and your shoes are ugly… It’s much harder to forgive you for the shoes.
-Jersey Shore: Finally, white people know how I feel when I watch BET.
-Wacka Flocka Flame: The person the Tea Party should really be protesting.
-John Edwards: Whenever I steal the covers from my wife and she gets mad, at least I can say, “Hey, I didn’t f-ck another woman, father a lovechild, deny said lovechild, then admit that said lovechild is mine and become a nationally embarrassment to myself and my family while you’re suffering from terminal cancer… F-ck you and get used to being chilly.”
Ummm…
I’ve been blogging for years. Before it was called blogging. So I know what it’s like when blogging transforms from an outlet or hobby to a job or worse — an obligation. One minute you’re coasting, posting three times a day, then you get inflicted with writer’s block. Or your last post was so astronomically phenomenal that you can’t see yourself bested that and you want it to sit on top of your site for a moment. Or life calls and before you know it, months [or years] goes by and you’ve lost your spot.
And then there’s that feeling that the only people who read your blog are the ones you’re talking about. Or your boss. Does Nduku even read mine?
I’ve been working on a little project recently and, well, I’ll talk about it after another Corey Richardson intermission…
Michael Jackson. Man, I can’t front, I was hurt when the King of Pop died. I think anyone over the age of 25 had some kind of significant memory of Mike and his music and had to take pause at his passing…
But yo…
People, stop acting appalled that Michael Jackson died of a drug overdose. Really? Did you think that was a surprise? Did you expect him to die at 92 years-old looking like a Barbie doll that got dropped in a bonfire? Seriously, you could have told me Michael Jackson died of ANYTHING and I would have believed it…
Maybe he got e coli from eating tainted unicorn meat.
He might have died falling out of Santa Claus’s sleigh.
Perhaps finally found the Wizard at the end of the Yellow Brick Road who could send him home.
I don’t know, but I’m not gonna pretend like I was somehow shocked by it all. Call me cynical, but hey, it’s me… It’s in my DNA, I can’t help it.
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When I changed the blogging tool I use, I just knew there would be a magic piece of code to take all my old posts from the old directory and within a nanosecond publish them on the new site. And there probably is a widget or plugin or magician who can do it, but since I haven’t found it, I’ve been manually copy-pasting all the old stuff over and I didn’t realize I had posted as many posts as I have. And I’m, not done.
In the migration of hundreds of unread posts, I’ve had an epiphany. The journey back through time took me to places I almost forgot about. Memories which if I never remembered, I’d've never noticed nor thought about again. It’s the way Facebook connected us with people from our past we forgot was back there.
One moment, another Corey Richardson moment…
I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention like I have lately, but there seems to be a new meme in America in this time of crisis and woe. America has changed so much in the past twelve months and this change is evident from watching the selection of the new RNC chairman to seeing the Super Bowl winning head coach, there’s a theme that recurring and palpable.
When the sh-t hits the fan, put a black guy in charge.
Don’t believe me? Look at the last three weeks of American history.
Exhibit A.) After posting the greatest capital losses in the history of the corporation, Citigroup’s chairman, Win Bischoff steps down and is replaced by former Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons. Richard Parsons is black.
Exhibit B.) Following eight years of murky, muddled, and incompotent leadership in the Justice Department, the Senate today voted to confirm Eric Holder as Attorney General of the United States putting him in charge of such colossal fuck-ups as Guantanmo and the U.S. policy on torture. Eric Holder is black.
Exhibit C.) After taking a massive hit following eight years of George Bush, the Republican party, reeling from its losses in the 2008 elections select Michael Steele as their chairman. Michael Steele is black.
Exhibit D.) Roland Burris. Black.
Exhibit E.) David Paterson. Black.
Exhibit F.) The Roots become Jimmy Fallon’s house band for his late night show. They’re all black.
Exhibit G.) Obama, Barack. Black.
This all ties back in to my Humpty Dumpty Theory:
When Najwa reaches 12 or 21 or 33, and becomes curious about how mommy and daddy met or what DC was like when she was born or when was it she started talking, walking and shizzling without a diaper, she’ll have her own digital library of extensive records. She’ll see photos of herself being held when she was a newborn by uncles Daz, Chad, Devin and everyone else who’s taken the time to come by. And she’ll see she was at the baby shower of her cousin Sydnee in Charlotte.
She’ll joke with Erykah Mack about the costumes they wore at Erykah’s first birthday party. They’ll joke even harder about the costumes their parents were wearing. And they’ll realize that they’ve been friends longer than they can remember and their parents were friends even longer than that.
I can only wish the digital age got started a generation sooner so I can see photos of my mom carrying me around like a watermelon under her clothes. Or my dad taking me to the hospital not telling me I’m about to get shots. And I wish I had photos of back in the day when I ran the streets with Daz, 2-3, John Payne and my homeboy Jeremiah Mack.
And what was my mom like before she met my dad. I have an idea what my dad was like and it’s probably better we keep that to ourselves!
Ok, one more interruption, for those asking what’s the Humpty Dumpty Theory…
Corey Richardson’s Humpty Dumpty Theory states: After all the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again, they had the give the horses since they clearly couldn’t do any worse.
Well, all the King’s men are the ones who seem to have gotten us to this ridiculus impasse with the economy, politics, and all that and now, they’re thinking, “F-ck it, bring in the horses”… Not that I mind, I just wish that black men were given a chance to show our merits in scenarios that weren’t always the worst case.
Carter G. Woodson would be proud. So much black history in such a condensed span of time. That is, if he wasn’t sh-tting his pants hoping that the newly minted HNICs weren’t gonna collectively screw the pooch on this one and drive black people into an even deeper hole of public perception. Finally, black men being recognized for not dancing, singing, or catching a ball… but instead in a position all too common for our black forebears, cleaning up the mess that some white guy made.
Not that I mind.
As I keep clicking on F5 anticipating a new post by Corey as well as the other procrastinating bloggers out there, I hope somehow you, whether you’ve blogged or not, become inspired to post a little something every now and again. Just let us know you’re ok and what you think about whatever’s on your mind. Sure you post status updates but after a few days, those old updates get lost somewhere on Facebook’s servers and the only memory you’ll have is how much time you spent updating your Facebook at work but not remembering what you psoted.
